


Children Who Swear

by HomeForImaginaryFriends



Series: IwaDai Week 2017 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, M/M, Magic-Users
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11843955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomeForImaginaryFriends/pseuds/HomeForImaginaryFriends
Summary: One day Daichi wakes up to find his friends, Asahi and Sugawara, transformed into toddlers.  He is then forced to take care of them while trying to find a way to get them back to adults.  Iwaizumi wakes up with the same problem.





	Children Who Swear

 

  
  


Daichi started to gather ingredients to make crepes.  He felt his magic buzzing around him, letting him know by touch and a little something extra which ingredients would make the best dessert.  Daichi had never been able to explain his magic, it was a small thing that helped him with his bakery and that’s all that really mattered to him.  Suga and Asahi would be in the front of the bakery, cleaning and getting things ready to open that morning.  Daichi had already made a variety of breakfast foods for them to sell and put out, but he felt like making crepes.

 

Of course it had nothing to do with a certain green eyed mage down the road who visited frequently.  Iwaizumi had mentioned he loved crepes and hadn’t had one in a while, but honestly, Daichi was a baker and he just felt like making crepes.  Really.

 

Something crashed in the front of the store followed by two voices crying together.  Daichi frowned because it sounded like children but they shouldn’t even be open for another ten minutes.

 

Daichi made his way out of the back of the bakery, where all the food prep took place.  He wiped his hands against his apron as he pushed past the swinging wood door and into the main part of the bakery, astonished by what waited for him.

 

Two toddler sized children were squirming on the ground, surrounded by clothes and a tray of muffins.  One muffin rolled towards Daichi, bumping against his foot and coming to a stop.  Daichi stared down at it for a confused moment before looking up and around.  Suga and Asahi were nowhere in sight, he couldn’t see any adults in sight.

 

“It’s alright,” Daichi tried to sound soothing but his voice must have been too deep because it started the toddlers who turned to him and started to cry in earnest when they saw him.  One with silver hair stumbled over to him, arms held out in front of him and little fingers opening and closing.  Daichi knelt down, caught the toddler before he fell over and stared into his red and wet face.  “Where are your parents?”  Daichi asked, completely miffed.

 

Really this wasn’t the oddest situation he had been in.  But he had opened a bakery for god sake, it wasn’t suppose to be like his school days looking after rambunctious teenagers with no grasp on their magic.

 

Daichi tilted his head to the side as he noticed the little mole beneath big hazel eyes.

 

“Suga?”  Daichi asked with dawning horror.  The little one had stopped crying as soon as Daichi’s hands were holding him up, he was now gently hitting Daichi’s wrists, as if enjoying the sound it made.  “Oh no.”  Daichi groaned as he picked the toddler up and went over to the still crying second child.  He bent back down and looked over that child.

 

The toddler stopped crying instantly, big brown eyes widening with terror as he stared up at Daichi.  His brown hair was a wild mess and even though he was so small, barely an armful, Daichi knew who this baby was too.

 

“How in the world?”  Daichi asked, which caused little Asahi to start crying once more.  “It’s alright Asahi, you’re okay.  You’re fine.  Except for the part where you’re a little baby but you know, the rest of it?  Okay.”  Daichi’s voice, while a bit rambling, seemed to calm down Asahi who stopped crying.  He sniffled loudly, a hiccup making him jump in place.

 

Daichi sat on the floor with his two friends, who should be 29 year old men like himself, but were instead toddlers.  Daichi couldn’t even estimate an age because he had never really been around children.  At least they had stopped crying.  Suga was playing with the tie of Daichi’s apron while Asahi picked a muffin that had fallen near him off the ground.

 

“Don’t eat that!”  The floors were clean but Daichi was pretty sure eating things off the ground were bad for children.  Daichi expected Asahi to drop the muffin and start crying again, but the small child regarded Daichi with his big brown eyes before turning and trying to shove the entire thing into his mouth.  “What!”  Daichi lunged forward, trying not to laugh as he took the muffin away.  Then Asahi started to cry, which set off Suga.

 

Daichi was not set up to deal with this kind of magical problem.  It had to be some sort of curse or magic backlash.  Daichi took a deep, centering breath and did what he did best.  Break a big problem up into smaller pieces and deal with what he could do for now.  Which meant getting the two toddlers to stop crying, which was easy enough.  They must have some instinctive trust in him left over from being adults because speaking softly to them and handling them gently seemed to do the trick.

 

Daichi then made diapers out of their adult clothes.  It was a little tricky and Suga would probably hit him for destroying his clothes, but it would have to do.  He covered them up, glad that it was spring and not winter.

 

Then he gathered them close and made his way down the street to someone who did know how to handle problems such as this.  He would have to leave the bakery closed for the day, he had left a sign on the door apologizing for the inconvenience.  Hopefully the problem would be solved by tomorrow otherwise Daichi would have to start looking into daycares and hiring on some extra help.

 

Daichi had several options to help with the current situation but he let his feet lead the way down the street.  To Iwaizumi’s shop.  Daichi tried to tell himself it was because that was the place Oikawa was most likely to be, and Oikawa had more magical knowledge shoved into his big head than almost anyone Daichi knew.  Iwaizumi being there meant Oikawa wouldn’t be able to charge Daichi an arm and a leg for the cure to his current problem.

 

The problem that was curled up against his chest.  Asahi was trying his best to hide under Daichi’s apron, which he forgot to take off, while Suga looked around with wide hazel eyes, making noises and pointing at things.  Daichi nodded and spoke back to the little one, not sure how much he understand but whenever Daichi spoke Suga looked up at him and seemed to wait for him to stop talking before pointing out something else.

 

“Hello?”  Daichi called out to the surprisingly empty magic shop as he walked in.  He took a couple more steps until sensing something below him.  He stopped and looked down, almost not even surprised to see a small toddler there.

 

Daichi knelt down, letting Suga get a close look at the new child as Daichi looked him over.  A head of wavy brown hair and soft brown eyes, an almost petutalant look on his face.

 

“Hello Oikawa.”  Daichi found he much perferred the man in a toddler form.  At least his clear dislike of Daichi was cute when he was two feet tall.  Daichi smiled at the little boy who frowned suspiciously up at him.  “Is Iwaizumi here?”  Daichi asked, hoping to all the gods and spirits listening that Iwaizumi wasn’t somehow a child too.

 

_ Pap! _

 

Daichi reared back.  The small open handed hit hadn’t hurt, it was more shocking than anything but Oikawa had gotten a good hit right on his nose.  Asahi gasped and Suga looked at Daichi with his wide shocked eyes before turning back to Oikawa.

 

Suga managed to get a grip of some of that wavy brown hair before Daichi could interfere, and suddenly Oikawa was shrieking.

 

Daichi tried to pull Suga back but that only assisted in the hair pulling.  Oikawa was reaching a whole new level of screeching as Daichi tried to put Asahi down to free up one hand, but Asahi refused to let go of Daichi’s apron.

 

“Who’s there?”  A voice bellowed before the broad form of Iwaizumi came ripping around a bookcase, holding a small pink haired child bundled up in a large yellow towel.  “Sawamura?”

 

“Help?”  Daichi asked but Suga had let go of Oikawa’s hair when Iwaizumi had appeared and curled close to Daichi’s chest.  Oikawa ran over to Iwaizumi, big crocodile tears sliding down his chubby cheeks as he held up his arms, demanding to be held.  “Sorry he hit me-”

 

“He hit you?”  Iwaizumi asked, nearly dropping both toddlers before catching them quickly.

 

“It didn’t hurt but I guess Suga decided hair pulling was a sort of revenge and I couldn’t dislodge them without dropping Asahi.”  Daichi rushed out, pushing himself into a standing position once more.  Oikawa tugged on Iwaizumi’s shirt, hair, ears, anything he could reach before pointing a small accusatory finger in Daichi’s direction.  “How did this happen?”  Daichi nearly had to shout to be heard over Oikawa’s screaming and who Daichi was assuming, Hanamaki’s laughter.

 

Asahi pushed closer and Daichi could sense tears coming close, which would set off Suga and what they needed right then was not two more crying toddlers.

 

“Oikawa enough!”  Iwaizumi finally shouted, which silenced the two toddlers immediately.  Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi with big watery eyes, bottom lip in full pout.  “Oh no, don’t cry, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to shout but you shouldn’t have hit Sawamura and I’m not even sure how much of this you even understand.”

 

“Why is Hanamaki wet?”  Daichi asked.

 

“This morning they were adults, Hanamaki had a box of creme puffs when he must have turned into a child and they got all over him so I gave him a bath.”  Iwaizumi sighed as he looked at Suga and Asahi in dismay.  “How could this have happened?”

 

“I was kind of hoping you would know.”  Daichi admitted.  Iwaizumi sighed and looked at the toddlers in his arms, who looked back at him with wide and trusting eyes.

 

Time passed as they wrangled the kids into diapers and clothes, then they had to feed them and find them something to entertain themselves with while Daichi and Iwaizumi attempted to figure out what had happened and how to reverse it.  Coloring seemed the best option, but every once and awhile one of them would wander off or grab a marker out of another's hands and they would lose time trying to calm everyone down and wipe away tears.

 

Asahi decided the best place to color was Daichi’s lap while Suga sat close, tugging on Daichi’s shirt to show him every progress he made on his drawing.  Which was mostly just a bunch of lines and scribbles, but Daichi thought they were brilliant lines and scribbles.

 

“I want to switch.”  Iwaizumi demanded as he once again pulled apart a fighting Oikawa and Hanamaki.  Daichi suspected that even a child-sized Hanamaki was a deviant at heart and was purposely riling up Oikawa when the adults weren’t looking.  Iwaizumi was staring down at Asahi, who had managed to mark up Daichi’s pants and apron.  Daichi pulled Asahi closer to ward off Iwaizumi.

 

“No chance.”  The rest were little devils in cute disguise but Asahi was a little angel.  “Plus you scare him.”

 

“How do I scare him?”  Iwaizumi shouted, causing Asahi to start crying.  Suga tossed a marker at Iwaizumi, which made Oikawa charge at Suga.

 

“Look at what you’ve done.”  Daichi said through laughter.

 

“Stop laughing and help me!”  Iwaizumi kicked Daichi’s leg, it was a soft kick and didn’t hurt at all but Suga and Oikawa both saw it and began slapping at each other.

 

“They’re learning bad behavior from you.”  Daichi admonished, though he was still trying not to laugh.  Fighting wasn’t funny but toddlers were so bad at it.  Half of the hits missed and the other half landed with soft little  _ pap pap pap _ noises.

 

“For fucks sake where did Makki squirm off to?”  Daichi’s eyes went wide as three little faces turned to Iwaizumi in shock.  “Oh no, oh no no please don’t.”

 

“Fucks!”  A tiny voice shouted from somewhere near the back of the store.  Iwaizumi rushed back there as Hanamaki continued to shout the word in glee.

 

“Stop laughing!  You’re encouraging him!”  Iwaizumi shouted.

 

“I can’t help it, it’s so cute.”  Daichi put his hand between Oikawa and Suga to keep them separated.

 

The little bell above the door rings out and Daichi turns to apologize that the store is closed until he see’s the tall and lean form of Matsukawa standing there.  Oikawa and Suga stare, up and up to the blank man's face as he stares down at the children.

 

“Ah Mattsun, good you’re here, take this.”  Iwaizumi pushes Hanamaki into Matsukawa’s chest.  Matsukawa, by some luck or the fact he has a younger brother, grabs the squirming giggling toddler and holds him up towards his face.

 

Matsukawa stares into Hanamaki’s eyes, the child has stopped moving for once and stares back before taking a single finger and poking Matsukawa’s nose.

 

“Fucks!”  Hanamaki shouts, tiny voice a mere squeak.  Matsukawa looks shocked, for once not snarking or sarcastic as he stares at the little bundle.  Iwaizumi takes a seat next to Daichi, snatching up Oikawa before he can color on an unsuspecting Suga.

 

“What.”  Matsukawa allows Hanamaki to squirm all over him, using his tall body as a jungle gym.  Matsukawa’s hands carefully assist the climbing toddler, never allowing him to slip or fall even by a centimeter.  “What did you do to my husband?”

 

“You’re kidding right?  That’s not Makki, he made a copy of himself.”  Iwaizumi set Oikawa away from Suga, floating several things around Oikawa’s head to entertain the child who jumped and leaped for the flying items.  “He’s been telling you he’s wants kids for a while now, why are you even surprised?”  Matsukawa stares at Iwaizumi blankly.

 

“What.”  Matsukawa helds Hanamaki stand on his shoulders as Iwaizumi laughs at his friends confusion.

 

“I don’t know dumb-” Iwaizumi cringed as little heads swiveled towards him.  “Dumb.”

 

“Dumb dumb isn’t a very nice thing to say.”  Daichi sing-songs, looking down at Asahi even though he knows Iwaizumi is glaring at him.

 

“We’ve been trying to figure it out but they keep getting into everything so we haven’t been able to do any research at all.”  Iwaizumi complains as Oikawa makes a final attempt to grab the floating items and ends up on his butt.  Suga claps and Oikawa’s face screws up, an oncoming tantrum is inevitable.

 

“Well yes, they are kids, kids take a lot of work.”  Matsukawa deadpans before walking over to an empty space.  He sets up a circle of boxes.  “Play pen.”

 

“Huh.”  Iwaizumi hands off Oikawa to Matsukawa, who places Hanamaki and Oikawa into the play pen before reaching down for Suga, who goes willingly, and Asahi, who curls close to Daichi.

 

“His cowering is much more endearing when he’s not a grown adult man.”  Daichi rubs gentle circles against Asahi’s back before Iwaizumi and Daichi start to really do some research.  Matsukawa stays busy entertaining the three children, which gives them time to actually read.

 

Time solves nothing though.  Hours pass and Matsukawa had places a large fluffy blanket onto the slumbering forms of the children, but they are no closer to any answers.  Both Iwaizumi and Matsukawa had tried several spells and incantations.  They keep them as safe as possible, not wanting to hurt the toddlers, but nothing seems to work.

 

Daichi rubs his eyes as he stretches, careful not to jostle a sleeping Asahi in his lap while he does so.  He looks over to Iwaizumi, who has several books floating around him as he frowns at a thick one right in front of his face.  The words are foreign to Daichi, but he knows Iwaizumi’s own personal magic helps him with this.  Whether it’s spells or math equations, Iwaizumi can look at something and just understand it instinctively.

 

Iwaizumi’s brow is furrowed and Daichi wants to smooth the skin between those dark brows out.  His skin is a sun-kissed tan, lighter where his shirt rides up near the top of his trousers.  The fact that Iwaizumi fills out that shirt quite nicely does not escape Daichi’s notice.

 

Daichi had admitted that he was more than a little in love with Iwaizumi for going on a couple months now.  Though it had probably gone on longer than that, escaping his notice until one early morning when Iwaizumi had come in for his and Hanamaki’s usual breakfast order and he had smiled in greeting at Daichi.  Daichi had quite an ‘Oh. Oh no.’ moment, a small crisis of conscience before finally settling down.  Nothing had to change, nothing had to be done.  If Daichi noticed the way Iwaizumi’s shirt sleeves clung to his shoulders and biceps then that was fine.  Most people knew that the magic store owner was quite fit.

 

Daichi curled his hand around Asahi protectively before turning and laying down, plopping his head down right in Iwaizumi’s lap.

 

“What an unflattering angle.”  Daichi teased lightly, thinking they could both use a bit of a break right then.  Daichi carefully adjusted Asahi’s small body until he was laying curled up on his stomach.  It was kind of amazing what kids could sleep through.

 

“Listen you, I get enough lip from those three assholes.”  Iwaizumi motioned towards his three childhood friends.  “I don’t need any from you.”  Iwaizumi emphasized his point by gently tapping Daichi’s forehead.

 

“It’ll be a couple years until Oikawa and Hanamaki can actually form full sentences so I’m just filling in the gap.”  Daichi grinned up at him as Iwaizumi laughed, soft and a bit wheezy.  Daichi felt the back of his neck burn but he didn’t get up, wouldn’t move unless Iwaizumi felt it was necessary.

 

Iwaizumi rested his chin against his fist as he continued to read the large book floating in front of him.  Daichi closed his eyes, keeping a careful hand against Asahi’s back as he considered the possibilities.  If Iwaizumi couldn’t find anything then they had other options.  Takeda would be happy to help, but they would have to travel to him and leave the kids in someone else's care.  Something tightened in Daichi’s stomach even though there were plenty of people who would be willing to help.

 

The little bell above the door rang once more and Daichi cracked his eyes open to see who had entered the shop.

 

“Babies!”  Bokuto shouted, successfully waking up the children as he ran over to the playpen.  He was loud and colorful, exactly what most children loved.  Suga laughed happily, if a little tiredly while Hanamaki pointed to Bokuto’s long pointed ears.  Bokuto bent forward, letting the child touch and pull at his ears and horns alike.

 

“Why are there children here?”  Kuroo’s sly voice asked as he knelt down next to Daichi’s stomach, peering at the child there.  Asahi poked his head out, stared at Kuroo with wide brown eyes before laughing.  Kuroo’s eyes went wide, with his always present smirk he probably scared most children.  Daichi was then convinced that the adults-turned-children had at least some of their adult instincts.  Asahi had been crushing on Kuroo for quite a few years then.

 

“Here, he seems to like you.”  Daichi handed over Asahi without sitting up from Iwaizumi’s lap.  “And he’s Asahi, incase you haven’t noticed.”  Kuroo sat down heavily, looking at the little boy in his arms with wonder.

 

“Hello little one.”  Kuroo spoke softly, more softly than Daichi had ever heard the man.  Kuroo always played his emotions close to the chest so Daichi had never suspected that Asahi’s feelings were returned.  It could be because child-Asahi was ridiculously cute, but there was a gentleness there that betrayed Kuroo.

 

Iwaizumi ran his hand through Daichi’s hair, raising an eyebrow down at Daichi before looking over at Kuroo.  Daichi shrugged, he wasn’t in the habit of interfering with other people's love lives.  Though if Kuroo wanted to be with Asahi he would have to prove himself to Noya.  Noya wasn’t interested in Asahi romantically, but there was no one who loved Asahi more than Noya.

 

Asahi laughed, a giggling sound that made everyone smile around him.  He then started to chat up at Kuroo, unintelligible but Kuroo nodded along as if he understood every word.

 

“So this is Suga, Oikawa, and Makki?”  Bokuto asked, momentarily stopping the game of climb all over the tall elf that the children were playing with him.  Or on him to be more exact.  “That’s so weird!  You think it had to do with that spell we did Tetsu?”

 

“What?”  Daichi did sit up then, even though he was rather enjoying Iwaizumi absentmindedly running his hands through his hair.  Kuroo blinked in confusion before he settled Asahi down in his lap.

 

“No, that was just so they’d get it on already and stop bothering all of us with this sexual tension.”  Kuroo said with a shrug, though there was a smirk playing at the corner of his lips telling that he knew exactly what he had said.

 

“What!”  Iwaizumi shouted.

 

“True.”  Matsukawa’s deep voice came from the back room, where he was scrounging up food to feed everyone.

 

“Don’t say sexual tension in front of the kids,” Daichi scolded, trying to cover up how embarrassed he was.

 

“But then I said they just needed to fu-” Bokuto glanced down at the children running around his long legs.  “Is it still bad if they are all really adults?  Best not to swear anyways.  They just needed to you-know-what and make babies.  I mean the babies part was just a joke because they are anatomically unable to produce children together without a third party involve, or like, a really elaborate spell with some kind of balloon maybe-   
  


“Bo!”  Kuroo said with laughter.  “That’s the last time we perform magic while drunk.”

 

“It’s going to be the last time you perform magic if you don’t fix this.”  Daichi threatened.  Kuroo’s laughter was cut off as he stared over at Daichi, wondering if he had finally pushed the other man over the edge.

 

“The spell should complete itself if you guys go and you-know-what, we can watch the kids.”  Bokuto cheered happily.  Daichi was beyond embarrassed, he couldn’t even look at Iwaizumi.

 

“That’s not happening so you better figure out something else!”  Iwaizumi growled and Daichi felt his heart drop, which was a ridiculous reaction he knew but still.  It hurt to be turned down so bluntly.

 

“That was cruel.”  Kuroo muttered because he could see Daichi’s face.  Daichi tried to shrug it off as Iwaizumi swung into his view, deep furrow back.

 

“I didn’t mean never, unless you never wanted- but it’s awkward to do now?  The walls are really thin here and- I just didn’t think you- with me?”  Iwaizumi’s ears were red and Daichi couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Fucks!”  Hanamaki shouted, pointing over at Iwaizumi and Daichi.

 

“That’s right, you’re such a clever boy!”  Bokuto praised, tickling Hanamaki who screamed with laughter.

 

“True love's kiss.”  Kuroo said with a smirk.  “It tends to fix any magic.”

 

And Daichi was back to being embarrassed.

 

“It’s worth a try?”  Iwaizumi asked, crouched down next to Daichi.

 

“Yeah?”  Daichi had to look up a little at the other man, who was slightly taller than him in their current positions.  It wasn’t exactly how Daichi imagined their first kiss, not that he imagined it often.  Maybe once or twice, a dozen or so times.

 

“Yeah.”  Iwaizumi smiled, cupping Daichi’s chin and leaning forward the brush his lips against Daichi’s.  Iwaizumi’s lips were slightly chapped but it was warm and unbearably tender.  Daichi sighed against Iwaizumi’s lips as they pulled apart, though neither went very far.

 

Kuroo let out a grunt that caught their attention.  Daichi turned and looked over at the man, who was now covered by a very adult, and very nude Asahi.

 

“It worked!”  Bokuto didn’t sound too pleased to be deprived of his playmates.

 

“I’m nude!”  Asahi shouted in embarrassment as he attempted to scramble off of Kuroo while covering himself.  Kuroo, for his part, laid very still as tightly closed his eyes and whimpered softly.  “I’m so sorry!  I don’t know- what- why!”

 

“Hello honey,” Hanamaki greeted Matsukawa as he walked into the main part of the shop with a tray full of sandwiches.  Hanamaki was equally as nude.

 

“Good evening, sandwich?”  Matsukawa asked in his usual voice devoid of emotion.  Hanamaki accepted the sandwich happily.

 

“Why am I naked and covered in marker?”  Suga asked.

 

“Why does my head hurt so bad?”  Oikawa asked as he rubbed at his hair.

 

“K-Kuroo?  Are you o-okay?”  Asahi whispered to the still prone Kuroo.

 

Iwaizumi shook his head before resting his forehead against Daichi’s shoulder.  Daichi laughed and rubbed the others back.

 

“Do you want to have dinner with me?”  Daichi asked.  It seemed as good as any time to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> IwaDai Week  
> Day 5: 18th August - Bodies  
> Age Change AU (Childhood/Aged-Up)
> 
> http://thatishogwash.tumblr.com/


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